i-lawak

People - I really enjoy these jokes. Take a break to appreciate them...

crazy ah beng~~

> Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
> Because below 18 not allowed Lah !
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.
> Ah Beng : 'Do you have color TV ?'
> Salesgirl : 'Yes !'
> Ah Beng : 'Give me a green one, please '
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job.
> He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age,
> Address etc.
> Then he comes to column on 'Salary Expected', but he is not sure
> of the question.
> After much thought, he writes ' Yes '
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
> Ah Beng : 'What is that shiny object ?'
> Salesgirl : 'That is a thermos flask.'
> Ah Beng : 'What does it do ?'
> Salesgirl : 'It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold'
> Ah Beng : 'I'll buy it'
> The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flask
> Boss : 'What is that shiny object ?'
> Ah Beng : 'It's a thermos flask.'
> Boss : 'What does it do ?'
> Ah Beng : 'It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold'
> Boss : 'What do you have in it !?'
> Ah Beng : 'Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream'
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always compares
> it with the original for spelling mistakes.
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks
> his picture is being taken.
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Why can't Ah Beng dial 911?
> Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it.
> When he encountered some problems. He decide to use the 'Help'
> command after some tries.
> Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer
> retailer for support.
> Ah Beng : 'I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been
> over half an hour and still nobody come and help me Lah ?!'
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.
> The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he
> answered, 'I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring, lah - but
> instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it
> to my ear, lah' 'Oh dear !' the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. 'But .
> what happened to the other ear ?'
> Ah Beng answered : 'That stupid dumbo called back, lah !!!!'
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
> Ah Beng: 'COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei
> AND LAS VEGAS ?'
> Operator: 'JUST A MINUTE...'
> Ah Beng : 'THANK YOU lah' AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for
> quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a
> friend.
> 'It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT', Ah Beng brags.
> 'FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG', the friend exclaims.
> 'YOU ARE A FOOL.' Ah Beng replies, 'SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN
> FOR 4-7 YRS'.
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------